Catymology

From Singapore to Hertfordshire
Admirers praise my ample physique
I’m the obvious object of desire
From Cudahy, Wis. to Mozambique.

Refrain:

I am wide at the rear and slim at the top
With a silky beige coat, spangled in white.
I’m a ripe furry fruit, ready to pop
To be shaped like a pear is a feline delight.




Stop in at the Friday Ark to see more furry creatures; and on Sunday, the Carnival of the Cats lands at Pet's Garden Blog.

Tags: catymology cats poetry

Labels: poetry

As I reported last week, I’m plotting a strategy for obtaining Venture Capital for Catymology. It’s turning out to be more difficult than I expected. But just today, I discovered an experimental tool from Microsoft AdCenter Labs that lets you predict a customer’s gender and age group, based on web searches conducted on MSN search. Hmm, let’s see, that might be an important tool for my business plan.

First I tried this little tool on the word “cats.” The result: “cats” are female-oriented, with a 66 percent confidence factor. Also, individuals who are likely to look up “cats” are likely to be between 35 and 49 in human years. Hmm. Okay. Advertisers should like that; human women in that age group probably buy a lot of stuff.

But then I tried it on the word “catblogging,” and got some opposite results: according to these researchers, “catblogging” is more male than female (60 percent confidence in their result.) And humans who look up "catblogging" are most likely to be under 18.

So, while mature human women like cats, guys under 18 are more likely to read catblogs? This is very troublesome. You have to put female cat lovers over 34 together in the same room with under-18 males; surely that’s a recipe for disaster!

Tags: catymology cats poetry

Labels: poetry

I am wide at the rear and slim at the top
With a silky beige coat, spangled in white.
I’m a ripe furry fruit, ready to pop.
To be shaped like a pear is a feline delight.

Don't forget to visit the Friday Ark; and on Sunday, the Carnival of the Cats will be at House of Chaos.

Tags: catymology cats poetry

Labels: poetry

Our feline-friendly friend Andreas from California puts out a smart newsletter. Today he wrote something that really got my motor running:

Okay, it's official: The Dot Com Boom is on again.

Yep, the dotcom boom from 1998-2000 is back. Back to irrational exuberance! Lap $300 champagne out of your girlfriend's belly button! Party like it's 1999!

So, why is the boom on again? Let's look at the numbers. (And kids, we all know: "Numbers Don't Lie!")

1) Totally idiotic ideas are getting VC funding. Yep: Dogster.com got one million dollars in VC funding last week. So what is Dogster.com? Social networking for dogs. Your pooch creates his online acct, with pixs, fave things, etc., and links up with other dogs for fun and business. Sorry, dogs only.

There's also Catster.com (yep, social networking for cats, tho's cats aren't sociable.) And yes, they got funding too.

So, that totally idiotic idea for a dotcom that your unemployed brother-in-law keeps bugging you about? Write up a four-slide business plan (in PowerPoint, natch), send it to 400 VCs, and put a down payment on that gray Ferrari you've been eyeing.

The Dogster-Catster folks have a good thing going here, don't they? Well, guess what? I found out that I've got PowerPoint on my thingpoddy. Tomorrow: my business plan for Catymology.com. Next week, I'm putting a down payment on the Jaguar.

Yo, cats and catted ones,

The Professor, as is his wont, is taking the day off. So, I borrowed his thingpoddy and--guess what?--I'm learning Engrish. In case you don't know it, Engrish is a language spoken by non-native speakers of English, often Japanese. Engrish.com is filled with examples from advertising, comic books, signs--you name it.

Check it out--it's really fun. Or, as an Engrish speaker might put it:

Inspect that. That enjoys and really is.

I found out I can do a lot with Engrish, and for a cat such as me ("no translation available"), just randoming around with some Engrish is almost as much fun as playing with a ball of yarn is for a normal cat.

But, what about the meat festival, you ask? What's that doing in the the title of a post about Engrish? Okay, here's the heart of it--also the gizzard and the shank, wing, etcetera: while I was on Katz's thingpoddy, I got some really bad news from a (human) cat named Zeuswood:

First Carnival » The End:

I was going to write a lengthy post on how things have changed, why people lost interest, what’s wrong with CotV, etc., and I may yet complete and post that. However, I wanted to get at least a basic announcement up sooner rather than later, and not just the ones buried on the upcoming hosts page or at the evil “Blog Carnival” site.

Carnival of the Vanities is closing for lack of interest.

The four year edition was the final test. If a heavily promoted, major landmark in the life of a historic, hugely influential blogospheric institution can’t get links or traffic - not to malign those who did come through for us, thanks! - and not even from many people with a stake, then there is no hope for it week to week. It’s just another way to get links; ironically, without having to write stuff so good or provocative it would have a better chance of generating links on its own. CotV was supposed to help ensure visibility of your best, since most of us have written great stuff that sunk into the blogosphere without so much as a ripple. And links aren’t even the prestige thing they once were. Heck, it’s the readership that matters more, and CotV doesn’t bring that.

Seems like just the other day, Katz was saying as how the Carnival of the Vanities is one of his favorites. Is he ever gonna be mad when he wakes up and gets the news about it's folding. But never one to miss an opportunity, I decided to try out my new Engrish skills on Zeuswood's message:

Thanking/apologizing meat festival of vain heart has closed because of scarcity of interest.

Alas! No more meat festival? Clap if you want to save the meat festival! Then click on over to this week's edition (but wait till Wednesday) at Lucy's Dilemma.

Ah! It worked! See the comment from Kehaar at Silflay Hraka. And check out the explanation:

I didn't want to have to do this, but rather than see the Carnival of the Vanities shut down, I'll be bringing it home to Silflay Hraka after the 209th edition, appearing this week at Lucy's Dilemma.

Episode 210 will appear here on Wednesday the 27th. Future installments of CoTV will appear on this blog rather than rotate until further notice.

If you have a post you'd like to submit, please send it to kehaar at silflay hraka dot com.

Hurray! Rumor of death of meat celebration festival was exaggerated very!


Update: 9/20/2006: Since Lucy has been kind enough to mention this post, I want to point out that Laurence Simon has also offered to host the Carnival of the Vanities. But in the "Clap if you want the carnival to continue" tradition, Laurence wants to hear from 100 of us, via email, that we support his effort: email laurence at isfullofcrap.com. (Hey, we couldn't make these things up, could we?)

--A.K.

Yo, cats and catted ones,

Katz let drop that he got email this morning from someone who was wondering why he had not posted very much this past week. I said, Katz, you spent the whole last three days chasing string! When would you have had a minute to post one of your magnum opi? (That's a "big work," if you need a translation.) So, I see that he's gotten onto his thingpoddy and done the work already today, but I still want to say, yo, Katz! We gotta keep our fan(s) coming back for more.

As for me, I've been sitting for my new portrait, which you can see here. Ain't I handsome, though?

Oh, and I forgot to say that, regarding Dada, I liked the stuff from one of the artists I saw in NYC, Kurt Schwitters, because he liked to use pictures of kittens in his collages. Ain't that cute?






Tags: catymology cats Dada

The Carnival of Satire is back in action at the squib, with a great concatenation of relevant irreverence.

And the original blog carnival, the Carnival of the Vanities, celebrates 4 years of publication with its 208th edition at its new home: First Carnival. Run on over and give them a few chin chucks, will you?

To elaborate on why I like carnivals: they remind me of the good old days that amanuensis talks about, when poets and writers of every kind started publishing their own magazines, inviting submissions from all over the place. A blog carnival is a little magazine with a big heart and one or more dedicated volunteers. You have to admire them for that.

Tags: catymology cats Carnivals

1. Catymology: The study of cats. That's what this blog is all about.
   
2. Cattitude: The conviction that one is the most gorgeous, intelligent, and lovable cat in the world; a state of mind common among those of the feline persuasion.
3. Catted: To be sat upon--or "owned" by--a cat; a state most desirable in humans.
4. Catymology: A religion devoted to celebrating the feline in us all. I know I already said "Catymology," but a good word deserves repetition. Besides, I invented Catymology.
5. Ailurophilia: A fondness for cats bordering upon obsession, often observed among the catted. Among Catymologists, ailurophilia is a state of grace.
   
6. Randomness: Going from one thought or thing to another with no preconceived structure in mind; the dedicated pursuit of randomness is a sacrament of Catymology.
   
7. Concatenate: To string together; virtually all cats enjoy concatenating naps. We're also good at stringing together our thoughts, as the prevalence of the Thursday 13 meme proves.
   
8. Catalepsy: A state of inertia, often induced by being catted. It's important for a cat to know where his or her humans are at all times, so catalepsy is to be encouraged.
   
9. Blogoverse: The universe of weblogs. I enjoy being part of the blogoverse--and a very imporant part of it, too! (See "Cattitude.")
   
10. Catblogging: The act of posting cute pictures of cats on one's weblog; the exponential increase in catblogging is proof that Catymology is the fastest growing religion in the blogoverse.
11. Thingpoddy: An electronic communications device, such as a Blackberry, a personal digital assistant (PDA), a computer, etc.; without thingpoddies, there would be no catblogging, and hence, no Catymology.
12. Carnival: A concatenation of links to posts relating to a prescribed subject--for example the Carnival of the Cats (appropriately, this Sunday at Justin's Random Thoughts) or the Friday Ark. Although cats are often accused of being antisocial, we love getting together--virtually--in Carnivals!
    
13. Blogiversary: The yearly anniversary of the establishment of a blog. Catymology's blogiversary is coming up on October 6. If you have ideas for how I should celebrate, please leave a comment.

Tags: catymology cats Thursday Thirteen

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a wildcat, but everyone knows I'm really just a big pussycat.

One summer evening a couple of years ago, I was minding my own business in my back yard when a huge, yellowish cat jumped over the fence and began hissing and growling it me. Naturally, I started hissing and growling back. My humans heard the ruckus and rushed out to see what was the matter. The male human had to kick the big, yellow cat to get it away form me, while amanuensis chased me inside. Then the big yellow cat--it was at least twice my size--rushed up to the back door and started hissing and growling at all of us. Finally, the male human got a bucket of water and threw it on the intruder. That finally chased him off.

At that time, we didn't know about all the animal breeders who breed exotic wildcats with domestic cats and sell the offspring as pets. I think that big yellow cat may have been one of these hybrids. There are several of these crosses for sale. They are beautiful and can be quite large. But as I found out, they can be very dangerous.

The Wildcat Sanctuary, a nonprofit in Sandstone, Minnesota, has now started a rescue program called Paw-Purri Cattery for domestic/hybrid cats and hard to place Bengal domestic cats. They say:

The popularity of unique-looking cats as companion animals has become lucrative for breeders who are crossing wild cats with domestic cats to sell what they call "lap leopards." The downfall to this is that even the final generations of these smaller cats still have wild genetics and can be skittish and have poor litter box habits. In the end, many of these cats are surrendered for not showing domestic tendencies or acceptable domestic habits.

I'm glad that some good humans are rescuing these cats, but I don't want to meet any more of them myself!

Check out the cats and other animals at Modulator's Friday Ark. On Sunday, slink on over to the 129th Carnival of the Cats at Begin Each Day.

Tags: catymology cats wildcats

Aloysius really loves his new rug. The colors set off his fur so nicely, don't you think?

Lisaviolet has invented a new game: Tummy Tuesday! Since Tuesday is Aloysius' day to simply be a cat, I guess that means that every Tuesday is Tummy Tuesday. If your cat wants to play, be sure to tag your post "Tummy Tuesday."

Tags: catymology cats Tummy Tuesday

Labels: Tummy Tuesday

Yesterday my humans visited the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. I couldn't go with them, of course, as they don't allow pets in the museum. But amanuensis did send me this souvenir image of a fabulous Underwater Panther. This being is a relative of Missipeshu, about whom I posted here and here. This panther is made out of clay and is said to be over 500 years old; it was found in the modern-day state of Arkansas. Here's what it says in the online catalogue:

The prominent colored swirls and eye motifs mark this animal as an Underwater Panther, one of the primary beings in the ancient Mississippian belief system and that of their descendants. The swirling pattern on its sides signifies water, while the eye markings allude to the animal's unusually keen vision. Red and white were symbolically significant colors that represented fundamental oppositions such as peace and war, light and dark and the on-going struggle between the celestial and subterranean realms. Underwater Panthers belonged to the subterranean and possessed great supernatural power. Their significance led Mississippian and subsequent artists to depict them frequently in many forms and media, including three-dimensional sculptures like this vessel.

Now that I know about the Minneapolis Institute of Arts, I'm going to go check out some of the other fabulous felines in their collection.

Visit all the fabolous felines at this Sunday's Carnival of the Cats #128, hosted by Watermark.

Tags: catymology cats panther mythology

Labels: legendary felines