Catymology

With the roses still blooming profusely, Professor Katz declined to provide a mew of inspiration for today’s post. Once again, I turn this blog over to our friend Darcy X.

Yo, cats and catted ones!

My trip to Hawaii opened my eyes on a hole new thing. Spam, as I wrote then, rolls on. But I gotta say, that stuff is stone crazy stuff. I can’t get enough of it. Luckily, I spent the last week at a sweet little spam spa right here in Saint Paul, Minn. Called Aunt Hattie’s House-o-Spam. Man, it was raining Spam. And in my heavenly Spam palace, I did reach enlightenment.

Big revelation: Katz ain’t the only educated feline in the blogoverse. He’s maybe got a M.F.A. and a mortarboard, but I got a weigh with the words. Just today, I dug up some new ones and here I’m gonna use them.

Today’s word: Fisking. As in, fisking the spam. I ain’t never gonna get my own email ‘dress and here’s why. I got a look in Katz’s in-box and this is what I saw:


cbooks@rock.com American Business Database Available 06/08/2006 2 KB
Can I get Spam with that?

Tim Karr, FreePress.net Spare a Moment. Save the Internet 10:17:10 AM 14 KB
Free the spam! Free the spam!

Melody Parham automatic dollop lapelled ignite 11:13:13 AM 1 KB
There was that human—what’s is name? Lautréamont! Who said, roughly speaking, “poetry must be made by spam.” Except, course, he said it in French.

Robert Allen Right out of The Regis Studio Audience 09:56:38 AM 4 KB
Let me out of the studio. My bottom line is hittin’ the roof.

eBay Account Message from eBay member 09:38:13 AM 14 KB
Operators are standing by to take your call.

JCPenney This survey will reward you with a $5... 09:35:03 AM 6 KB
I don’t work for no measly $5.

Maritza Bartley taxi waybill draw 09:56:43 AM 1 KB
Finish this this pome and win big.

Plasma.VS.LCD Makes Everything More Entertaining to Watch. Even figure skating. 07:14:16 AM 5 KB
That’s good to know. I usually watch on the toaster.

Estella Moran Jefferson told reporters Monday, " I believe that it's completely inappropriate to use the police of the federal government to come into the office." 12:38:07 AM 1 KB
Now you’re talking, Jefferson. So, can I apply for a mortgage now?

Cassandra Ramirez The affidavit identified the informant only as a Virginia resident who headed an "educational technology philanthropic foundation." However, a government official told CNN on Monday that the informant was a businesswoman named Lori Moody. 12:10:19 AM 1 KB
Kelly Knowles The affidavit identified the informant... 11:37:09 PM 2 KB
Humans keep repeating themselves, despite warnings. Hey, I really need that mortgage.

Bradly Slaughter The Dutch prosecutors office said Wever is "still under suspicion but will not be held in custody." He will also have to make himself available for questioning. 11:08:47 PM 1 KB
This Slaughter dude has a sick brain. Wever, if was you I’d get outta town, mortgage or no mortgage.

James Wise As part of an ongoing investigation for an upcoming "CNN Presents" on the New Orleans Police Department, CNN had sued the coroner of Orleans Parish to try to get official access to the autopsy report. At a court hearing on that lawsuit in New Orleans a week ago, the coroner, Dr. Frank Minyard, verified the handwritten autopsy report obtained elsewhere by CNN was indeed prepared in his office by a pathologist on his staff who listed the wounds in the victim's right back. 06/06/2006 2 KB
It'd be easier to use a note pad, or something, don’t ya think?

IBMthinkPad REDEEM A BRAND NEW THINKPAD. 06/06/2006 4 KB
Or one of those thingpods.

GOT E.P.H.E.D.R.A! LOSE W E I G H T IN TWO DAYS. ORDE... 06/06/2006 5 KB
I'll get back to you after lunch.

Barnes & Noble.com This Week - Exclusive Coupons, Anders... 06/06/2006 29 KB
Send ‘em to Katz. I got too much to read already.

-Happyhouroffer.Newsletter FREE* Gillette Fusion Power Razor 06/06/2006 4 KB
That sounds darn painful.

HairREST0RATION Free Video Tape on Hair Restoration 06/06/2006 5 KB
I told you to stay away from the fusion razor, but you never listen to me.

Amazon.com Order Now for Father's Day at Amazon.com 06/06/2006 37 KB
Sorry, my old man got smashed by a Jaguar. He was in Belize at the time.

Terrell Swain make shopping for meds easy 06/06/2006 934 B
Easier than whopping a Jaguar.

mock cadex *****Congratulations You Are A Winner... 06/05/2006 5 KB
Mock away. I always win, sooner or later.

Dianne Valentine Which sleep go numinous prosperous 06/05/2006 14 KB
Aha, the third line of the pome.

Allison Neely stopgap dickson 06/05/2006 1 KB
Line 4! You're out.

Autumn Watkins suntan tim kingsbury 06/05/2006 1 KB
Okey dokey. That does it. You're really outta here.

FREE Gas Giveaway Limited qty left -- claim yours now 6/05/2006 3 KB
No, thanks, I got gas already.

Walgreens Prescriptions Ready at Walgreens 06/05/2006 2 KB
Whoops! Gotta run!