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Friday, August 17, 2007


Black squirrel cult invades Minneapolis

Recently, we've been seeing a large number of these guys in our yard:

They look like normal squirrels, except they are black. Where are they coming from?

It turns out that, over the years, a lot of humans have become obsessed with black squirrels. Scary Squirrel World claims to document the black squirrel invasion:

Ten rare black squirrels were imported from Canada in February 1961 by Larry Woodell, superintendent of grounds, and M. W. Staples, a retired executive of the Davey Tree Expert Company. When first released, the large, black-spiked squirrels were frequently mistaken for skunks..."

So begins a sordid tale of treachery describing how black skwerlballs came to infest Kent State University in Ohio. An isolated and unexplainable act? Hardly.

The Black Squirrel Invasion (BSI), has been the subject of much speculation. Some say they originated in Canada--specifically the French-speaking provinces. Others think that the dark invaders were brought over from Europe. What strikes me, however, is the frequency of BSI's association with college athletic teams.

"Black Squirrels" has been an unofficial Haverford College (Pennsylvania) athletic identity since the late 1980's when the college baseball team noted a profusion of the mutant species around Class of 1916 Field... In 1990, the team passed out Black Squirrel T-shirts on its summer tour of Czechoslovakia and Poland, leading one professional baseball squad in the Czech Republic to become "Chorny Wewerka," Czech for "Black Squirrels." --from the Haverford Sports News

Is it just a coincidence that, not too far from where I live, the University of Minnesota has broken ground for a new football stadium? Are University officials at this moment contemplating changing the college mascot from the Golden Gopher to the Chorny Wewerka?

And why, when my human was trying to google some information about the BSI phenomenon, did the computer suddenly sieze up and present the maddening, multicolor spinning ball--the universal sign of browser distress?

Is it possible that, as Scary Squirrel World says, the Black Squirrels are seeking nothing less than world domination?

You tell me. Already, some towns have hosted civic celebrations with Black Squirrel themes:
But wait, there's more: Black Squirrels now have their own theme song. London, Ontario, even offers a free download. Now, that might not be world domination, but it does seem rather cheeky.

Cats in Minneapolis need to educate themselves about the BSI -- and prepare!

Meanwhile, we're alerting everyone to the BSI menace via the Friday Ark.



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