Catymology

Yo, cats and catted ones! Happy New Year!

I’ve got a new obsession, and it’s sure nice of my good buddy Katz to be the model. But ain’t he supposed to be pink?

Now, I know you're confused. But sniff these words, cause I just found out that's how cats read.

I found this out from an old BBC comedy sci-fi series called Red Dwarf. For those who never heard of this, here’s how the series started out:

The mining ship Red Dwarf is a spaceship 6 miles (10 km) long, 5 miles (8 km) tall, and 4 miles (6 km) wide belonging to the Jupiter Mining Corporation. In the first episode, an on-board radiation leak kills everyone except for low-ranking technician Dave Lister (a genial Liverpudlian slob, albeit a more intelligent one than is initially apparent), who is in suspended animation at the time, and his pregnant cat, Frankenstein, who is safely sealed in the cargo hold. Lister had smuggled Frankenstein aboard the ship following shore-leave on Titan, but had been caught in possession of the illegal life form and chose to be sentenced to eighteen months in stasis imprisonment rather than surrender his pet to be dissected. Following the accident, the ship's computer Holly has to keep Lister in stasis until the background radiation dies down — a process that takes three million years. Lister therefore emerges as the last human being in the universe — but not the only life form on-board the ship. His former bunkmate and immediate superior Arnold Rimmer (a fussy, bureaucratic bully obsessed with rank and rules, who is at heart a neurotic coward), is resurrected by Holly in holographic form after the accident to keep Lister sane, while a creature known only as The Cat is the last known surviving member of Felix Sapiens, a race of humanoids that evolved in the ship's hold from Frankenstein and her kittens during the millions of years that Lister was in stasis.

Now, if you get a copy of the DVD, or if you tool around on your thingpoddy over to the official Red Dwarf site, or look it up on Wikipedia, you can find out a lot more about The Cat. The Cat had a lot of different incarnations, and in one of them he even shows up as “a wise professor who finds it ridiculously easy to pronounce profoundly long words.” Just like Katz!

But wait, there’s more: over at Groovetown, you can listen to a bit ‘o The Cat, and a smooth MP3 of Me and My Shadow. Which is what started all of this out: Katz was trying to get away from that new cat of his, but that cat's a shadow.

If you're confused, just rent the DVD, my good cats and catted ones! I'm outta here!

Darcy X

They say you should never look a gift cat in the mouth. I don't think I like the looks of Santa Katz.

See more furry creatures at Modulator's Friday Ark. And on Sunday, party at the New Year's Eve edition of Carnival of the Cats at Watermark.

Aloysius has reaffirmed his dogma (if you'll pardon the expression), declaring Tuesdays as the day to simply be a cat. So, here's what he did today.

Lisaviolet has invented a new game: Tummy Tuesday! Since Tuesday is Aloysius' day to simply be a cat, I guess that means that every Tuesday is Tummy Tuesday. If your cat wants to play, be sure to tag your post "Tummy Tuesday."

Tags: catymology cats Tummy Tuesday

Labels: Tummy Tuesday

While my bud Katz dreams of world peace, I have more, er, worldly ambitions. So, listen up, cats an’ catted ones. Run out right now and fork over your Mastercard for the top 13 gifts for cats.

1. Spray catnip! A puff of this on your ruff or your duff is sure to be a hit with any feline lover.

2. Recording of Bjork singing The Yule Cat. I’m told that this one’s virtually impossible to find, but if you do, your grateful cat will give you a big slurp on the puss.

3. Big Tuna! Big Tuna! I’m not talking about a 473 pound bluefin here (though, come to think of it, that wouldn't be bad.) What I’m talking about is the California blues band Big Tuna. Check them out.

4. Lessons in Catalan. Hey, it's a language spoken by about 12 million humans. That's nothing to sneeze at. Plus, it's super romantic. Oh, and did I mention that "mayonnaise" is derived from a Catalan word?

Sample lesson:

Hola, com estàs?
Bé, i tu?
Com és que els diàlegs per principiants sempre comencen amb "Hola, com estàs?"
No en tinc la menor idea. Eh, me n'haig d'anar. Adéu.
Adéu.

5. A night out at The Cat's Meow. What cat wouldn't want to shake his bootie at this New Orleans karaoke bar?

6. A big box of feathers. Specifically, peacock feathers. Seriously, you've gotta try 'em. Just don't eat too many, okay?

7. A Jaguar. While you're at it, hire a driver! After eating those feathers and the catnip, your feline friend will be too drunk to drive.

8. Whoa, baby! Wait a minute. You've gotta get Neil Gaiman's "Dream of One Thousand Cats," part of the Sandman series. Gaiman tells the tale of how cats once ruled the world. Gaiman has said that when people ask him to sign their copies of the book in which this story appears, often the book's been clawed by cats. "It makes me wonder if I gave away some secret cat knowledge, and the cats resent it," he said.

9. A private secretary, also know as an "amanuensis." I gotta say, without my amanuensis, I wouldn't be the well-travelled, educated, and fun-loving feline that I am. In fact, it's doubtful that I would exist at all. Every cat should have an amanuensis.

10. A puppy. Seriously, you won't be sorry if you get your feline companion a puppy. Just be sure to get a dog that's smart enough to know who's boss. As Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, once said: "The dog must learn to be subservient to the cat."

11. Director's chair. We have a lot of those collapsible chairs around our house, and Katz and I prefer to sit in them above all other chairs. Just make sure the dog stays off them, okay?

12. Swing dance lessons, so your feline pal can be a real Hep Cat.

13. A cat blog, of course. As our friend Zeus has pointed out, some humans think pet blogs are stupid. We have to overwhelm these humans with proof of our intelligence, humor, and grace. And the best way to do that, IMHO, is to create more blogs about pets.

I'm outta here!

Darcy X

Tags: catymology cats Thursday Thirteen

The Winter Solstice arrives today at 6:22 p.m. Central Time. For more information about Solstice Celebrations, take a look at the Candlegrove website. And don't forget to visit the Friday Ark, as well as the Christmas Eve edition of the Carnival of the Cats at IMAO. Peace and purrs to all!

Tags: catymology cats poetry

Labels: poetry

Modulator: Friday Ark #117 - Power Outage Edition:

Because there's been a power outage at Modulator's place, I can't get my usual Friday Ark fix. Let's hope that the power comes back on soon!

Power Alert (09:40 PST): Our power has been off since 8PM PST 12/14. I am temporarily at an alternate Boarding station about 50 miles away. I'll get caught up on updates over the next 1-2 hours and then that will be it until some time power comes back..

"

Guest cats have been popular on Catymology. Here's another one from Ohio, and she has a story to tell.

Pepper's human writes:

Here's a photo of Pepper, showing off her natural camouflage coloring. She is very shy of almost everyone and only accepts petting from me when the mood strikes her. I'm sorry you didn't get to see her on your visit; she's quite a handsome cat.

As you know, I found her as a starving kitten when she was about 6 weeks old. Something had chased her up a big tree across the road from my house in Indiana. I tried for a whole day to coax her down without success, so I carried a ladder over and got her down. She was so far gone that her third eyelids were closing. I fed her kitten milk replacement and canned kitten food for a few weeks and kept her in the house. She was old enough to eat by herself and she survived. However, she never got very cuddly.

She used another of her nine lives when we moved to Ohio. She got outside and ran away a few days after the move. I searched everywhere for her and alerted my neighbors. She had been gone for 5 weeks when she showed up in my back yard and consented to come in to be fed.

Pepper is lucky to have such a devoted human to care for her!

More feline friends will congregate at Modulator's Friday Ark. And on Sunday December 17, the Carnival of the Cats goes to House of Chaos. (And what house isn't chaotic this time of year?)

Labels: guest cats

Yo, cats and catted ones,

It’s time for us cats to make out our Xmas lists; otherwise our humans won’t have a clue as to what we want to find under the tree.

So let's get started. I may be a bad cat, but I’m not the baddest cat around. Last year my friend Aloysius discovered the Yule Cat, a humongous legendary cat from Iceland who eats lazy children.

It turns out that a band named Mozart Rottweiler has recorded a song about the Yule Cat. Want to listen? Just get on your thingpoddy and go to this site. Here, you can download the whole album—Plan Nine Christmas from Outer Space.

I know what you’re thinking. Why is the band named after a dog? I can’t answer that, but here’s a little quote from the Mozart Rottweiler website:

Greeting's ! No you haven't reached the psychic network. This is the Mozart Rottweiler with Sinister Undertones Band site. We are Gothic music with a difference. So leave all your preconceived notions of Gothic music behind. This is a Alchemy of psychedelic, Blues, Classical, and 60's rock and roll. The lyrics are beat poetry so dark it bleeds shadows. We are influenced by Poe, Lovecraft, Brian Lumley and whatever else intrudes on our nightmares.

With influences like these, what bad cat wouldn't want Mozart Rottweiler for Xmas?

What do good cats want for Xmas? I wouldn’t know, but if you leave me a comment, I’ll do my best to get your list to the Yule Cat.

One great thing about the blogiverse is that you never know how humans are going to come across your blog. Since yesterday, I've noticed a lot of traffic coming from the Soap Dish Forum. I'm averse to soap (and water), so I couldn't register at this website in order to see what they said about me. Would someone reading this post please explain?


P.S. I just hope it doesn't have anything to do with hairy soap!

Modulator presents the Friday Ark. And on Sunday, the Carnival of the Cats will be at House of Mostly Black Cats.

Tags: catymology cats poetry

Labels: poetry

There's really nothing more comforting than reclining on an afghan (no, not the dog, the crocheted orange thing) and doing a little grooming. But oh, boy, doesn't this make my feet look big?

Please proceed to Lisaviolet 's blog for more links to kitty tummies.

Tags: catymology cats Tummy Tuesday

Labels: Tummy Tuesday

I wondered where all the traffic was coming from today. It turns out that Franny Syufy, who writes the Cats column for About.com, kindly mentioned the 141st Carnival of the Cats in her Monday Cats Blogosphere Roundup:

There's lots of activity ramping up with the world of blogging cats. I just thought I'd share some of the conversation I've found on some favorite cat blogs:

* Luxor, the Whitest (cat) Boy, paws about What I Want for Christmas
* Avram, over at New Cat City, posts One of my Favorite Things, which is something he seems to do a lot.
* Aloysius, at Catymology, is hosting Carnival of the Cats, which is a cat blogosphere all in its own right.
* Derby, the Sassy Cat, gives a weekend roundup. He had company, got to help with some cro-shay project, and generally had a typical catstyle weekend.
* Timothy Dickens is still recovering from Thanksgiving, but oh well, he never claimed to blog daily.

Thanks, Franny!

Welcome to the 141st Carnival of the Cats. There's been a cold snap and, I hear, snow throughout the middle of the US. I hope that hasn't kept you cats and catted ones away from your blogs. Me? I've been taking a little nap. Which gave Darcy Xenophon the opportunity to get in a few words about his favorite posts of the week.





Bad cats -- curated by Darcy Xenophon

Yo, cats and catted ones! Darcy here, with my own private selection of the baddest cats of the week:

To start us off, Keeskennis throws up a slideshow of Kitty Kats doing stuff that even I'd never do. By his own admission, he stole this show from Bad Tempered Zombie. That explains a lot, doesn't it?

You say your internet service is kind of fuzzy? Maybe it's because someone's been snoozin' on the DSL modem.

Trust me: cars, alcohol, and drugs don't mix. Just ask Baboon Pirate: Fear & Loathing In The Litter Box. But it's not just us felines who act out. Check this out: Japanese Cat Sucking.

How does one uppity cat greet another? Manz Mnews suggests a quick Sniff and Swat.

Okay, most cats like skritches most of the time, right? Not necessarily. Sometimes all a human can expect is Move Along, Chum or Don't Touch Me!.

Yeah, I know Xmas is coming, dude, but Ostara says: why wait? What'd ya bring me?

Smudge has decided *not* to go on hiatus: Friday Cat Blogging: You Got a Problem With That? Why so grumpy? Okay, okay we'll send treats.

Can't we just all get along? Apparently not, as there's No sharing this flannel bed.

Here's a sport I can get behind: Rascal indulges in Couch Wrestling.

Cats got opinions, okay? You bet we do. Cats with opinions on politics will just eat up these two posts from Sissy Willis: "Now that the media's paying attention" and "I want another chiquita to go with me",



Aloysius says:
Hey Darcy! I'm taking the blog back now.

It's time for a little kitty love and sunshine to chase away all the humans' woes.

But first, the Church of Catymology--which celebrates the feline in us all--presents the following with our prayers and good wishes. Texas Oasis has an Update on Alex and Duncan, both of whom have had health problems recently.

I had just been looking at the phenomenon of library cats. Now, Mr. Toast reports on the death of one of the most famous of them: Dewey Readmore Books, Library Cat. Rest in Peace, Dewey!

It's time for more kitty love. Mister Gato shows how it's done: Now, that's love.

When you're feeling a bit groggy, there's nothing like a couple of Cute Cats!, whose antics will keep you on your toes.

What can I say about The trials of an ageing cat.. plus? Just too darling.

Bentley hits the cuteness jackpot, bigtime. Yes, will do tricks for catnip. I mean, who wouldn't?

Xena and Kai demonstrate Climbing and Balance: A Kitten's Guide--with mixed results.

Even in the midst of a winter storm, a cat can remind you what it means to be Peaceful.

Just sitting around looking cute can be an end in itself. But don't take my word for it. It's RIGHT NEIGHBORLY at Elison's house.

You say your business is lagging? Get a shop cat! Shop cats draw attention in Yellow Springs, Ohio, and also in France.

Love is in the air--still--at Mélange. Mr. Rhett pines for his Sophie: Diamonds Of The Eye.

PJ has a whole new bag: Friday Cat Blogging.

Rahel meets Friday Cats. This one's all dressed up.

Seems to be a new meme--catbloggers CHALLENGE each other; but wait, it's all for good causes.

Remember, when shopping for holiday gifts: It’s all about the presentation.

But, Ferdinand T. Cat warns, watch out for The Ribbon Problem.

If you're getting carpal tunnel syndrome from too much blogging, please consult the editor.

GrrlScientist posts photos contributed by her readers, including this one: Thank Dog It's Caturday! Oh, for cute.

We lucky domestic cats give and receive unconditional love. The least humans can do is to be kind to the less fortunate, for instance, by feeding a Feral 'Twixt the Dumpsters.

Yet another blogger discovers that My Cats Are Buddhists. I hope she’s met my buddy, Dharma.

Cats rule. We know that. Okay, so say, your partner is allergic to cats. What about getting a robotic feline? Watermark has a product review: Kitty Mascot.

It's what's not for dinner: Kitty Loaf.

No showdowns at StrangeRanger: Mostly Peaceful Evening.

Helping out around the yard is so tiring, but you could always take a Dust Bath.

What can this mean? I'm not sure, but Feline Friday: Window in the cat certainly is a lovely picture.

With all the snow that's been falling, I'd like to recommend we all try Feline Friday on Saturday: Kosmo's New Bed.

Here's something we definitely won't try at home: Traveling With Pets.

When the snow is flying, there's always Friday Catblogging and the opportunity to warm up to the fire.

It's a Mind of Mog attack! Meowza muses on WordPress Quirks, presents Tummy Tuesday #19 and then invents Mind of Mog » Tongue ‘n Toes Thursday.

Laura Lee Donoho presents Toni's the Best Medicine posted at The Wide Awake Cafe.

And finally, a would-be immigrant submits his cat's recommendation.
I can't think of anything better. And I think that I can speak for a few members of my species when I say that we know who our friends are. Let’s hope that those who wish to be Americans will help us all to better understand what that means.

Namaste!

Aloysius

UPDATE: 12/4/06: I regret that Tacjammer's submission got lost this week, cause it's important: I'm pleased to report that Mycah's operation went well.

Next week’s Carnival of the Cats will be at House of Mostly Black Cats.