Catymology

A woman wrote in to a syndicated advice columnist asking what to do about her boyfriend's close relationship with his cats. The engaged couple plans to move in together, but she's worried. He really enjoys sleeping with his two cats, but she says that they wake her up repeatedly at night. She wants to ban the cats from the bedroom.

The columnist gave a standard answer of the "all relationships involve compromise" variety. But many cats and catted ones have faced this problem. Has anyone asked the cats what they think?

In my opinion, banning the cats from the bedroom, when they have been used to sleeping with their human, will only result in their sitting outside the bedroom all night, whining and beating their paws on the door. Next, they'll have to be locked in the basement or another secure room at night. Next thing you know, the cats will probably do what any sensible feline would do--consider emigrating to a home where they are loved and can sleep curled up against their humans every night.

When we first wrote about the marriage of Darcy Xenophon and his humans, Michele and Michael, many of you thought that it was a spoof. But the truly catted humans understand that if you really love the animals you live with, you consider them members of your family. The young woman who wants to live with her catted boyfriend should understand that when you marry a catted one, you marry the whole family.

Hey, fellow felines, do you have an opinion? How can this relationship be saved?